Using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, you will purposefully take in the details of your surroundings using each of your senses. Strive to notice small details that your mind would usually tune out, such as distant sounds, or the texture of an ordinary object.

What are 5 things you can see? Look for small details such as a pattern on the ceiling, the way light reflects off a surface, or an object you never noticed.

What are 4 things you can feel? Notice the sensation of clothing on your body, the sun on your skin, or the feeling of the chair you are sitting in. Pick up an object and examine its weight, texture, and other physical qualities.

What are 3 things you can hear? Pay special attention to the sounds your mind has tuned out, such as a ticking clock, distant traffic, or trees blowing in the wind.

What are 2 things you can smell? Try to notice smells in the air around you, like an air freshener or freshly mowed grass. You may also look around for something that has a scent, such as a flower or an unlit candle.

What is 1 thing you can taste? Carry gum, candy, or small snacks for this step. Pop one in your mouth and focus your attention closely on the flavors.

Categories

Choose at least three of the categories below and name as many items as you can in each one. Spend a few minutes on each category to come up with as many items as possible. Possible categories: movies, sports teams, animals, countries, colours, cities, books, cars TV shows, cereals, fruits & vegetables, famous people.

For a variation on this activity, try naming items in a category alphabetically. For example, for the fruits & vegetables category, say “apple, banana, carrot,” and so on.

Body Awareness

The body awareness technique will bring you into the here-and-now by directing your focus to sensations in the body. Pay special attention to the physical sensations created by each step.

1. Take 5 long, deep breaths through your nose, and exhale through puckered lips.
2. Place both feet flat on the floor. Wiggle your toes. Curl and uncurl your toes several times. Spend a moment noticing the sensations in your feet.
3. Stomp your feet on the ground several times. Pay attention to the sensations in your feet and legs as you make contact with the ground.
4. Clench your hands into fists, then release the tension. Repeat this 10 times.
5. Press your palms together. Press them harder and hold this pose for 15 seconds. Pay attention to the feeling of tension in your hands and arms.
6. Rub your palms together briskly. Notice and sound and the feeling of warmth.
7. Reach your hands over your head like you’re trying to reach the sky. Stretch like this for 5 seconds. Bring your arms down and let them relax at your sides.
8. Take 5 more deep breaths and notice the feeling of calm in your body.

Mental Exercises

Use mental exercises to take your mind off uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. They are discreet and easy to use at nearly any time or place. Experiment to see which work best for you.

• Name all the objects you see.
• Describe the steps in performing an activity you know how to do well. For example,

how to shoot a basketball, prepare your favourite meal, or tie a knot.

• Count backwards from 100 by 7.
• Pick up an object and describe it in detail. Describe its colour, texture, size, weight, scent, and any other qualities you notice.
• Spell your full name, and the names of three other people, backwards.
• Name all your family members, their ages, and one of their favourite activities.
• Read something backwards, letter-by-letter. Practice for at least a few minutes.
• Think of an object and “draw” it in your mind, or in the air with your finger. Try drawing your home, a vehicle, or an animal.

One of the opportunities available to people accessing Taranaki Retreat’s Outreach Programme is to have some coaching with our Life Coach Liz. Sometimes we feel stuck, or we may be up for making some changes/moving forward, tired of talking about the past or keen for tools and strategies. These are just some of the ways Life Coaching can make a difference. One of Liz’s super powers is to listen intently and she has some great tools and a fresh approach to really help increase your awareness and understanding of where you are at and what the next chapter could look like.

The Model Deployed by Liz

Be Bold education focuses on increasing levels of self awareness and self acceptance/love. It empowers the individual to take some control of their emotional state. The model includes/combines a number of accepted coaching concepts, recognising mood/state, in both an experiential and logical way.The concept is based on the red zone (where the individual is disempowered, fear based, disconnected) and the green zone (where the individual is empowered, love based, connected) in a visual reference model with choice in between.When asked what Guests have got out of the session with Liz, it is often the visual simplicity of the model, that really helps it hit home to them. Helping them to understand where they are at, and what they want to be working towards. It provides clarity and context that the individual can easily remember and refer to going forward. Liz has found that those she works with connect quickly, and our situations change.
How it works

1. The first step is an initial session with Liz – during which she’ll explain how it works. Generally, this is done face-to-face – but can also happen over the Internet using Zoom or Skype.

2. If it ‘feels right’ Liz will talk to you about going further

3. We’ll then enter into an agreement to support you with Life Coaching. Taranaki Retreat commits to the support detailed in the agreement for as long as our Guest and the Life Coach together feel the support is beneficial. Liz’s support includes contact by phone/text outside of your sessions.

4. Liz will be making a considerable reduction of her rates, each session, as part of her support for the Retreat. We ask that everyone doing Life Coaching makes a contribution to the cost (even if it’s just $10 a session) – so that they have some ‘skin in the game’. We will discuss sensitively how much you feel able to contribute. Taranaki Retreat will commit to make up the balance – because we know this works!

5. You’ll decide on an initial number of sessions to meet. After these sessions are complete, we’ll review with you – and decide ‘What Next’? More sessions? Or moving into the next step on this journey. Of course, you can withdraw from the plan if you find that it’s not working for you.

Any questions? Go right ahead and ask!

In this article, we’ve used D&A as short-hand to refer to drug & alcohol / substance use/abuse – knowing that not all of this will apply, but just to give as broad a picture as possible :

Q. I am determined / my loved-one is determined to withdraw from D&A. Looks like a stay at the Retreat would really help with that?

A. Our answer would be – quite possibly later – but most definitely not now. Taranaki Retreat does not cater for rehab or detox patients and we aren’t a clinical facility. If you or a loved one are looking to break free from substances, the D&A service at Te Whatu Ora Taranaki or primary healthcare agency (for example, Tui Ora) is the first contact that should be made. They will provide you with all the resources necessary to tackle addiction – or contact numbers / websites / places to reach out to for this crucial service. We may be able to involved later, as we said – for example, some solutions are based on a plan for “Social detox” after the clinical support around withdrawal has been taken care of. This can look like a phased process or returning to home or community, and figuring out what the next chapter is going to look like, with the right supports. Alternatively, engaging with our ‘Outreach Support’ programme alongside clinical services could be the right call. Interested? Ask for more info.

Q. My loved-one/I’m in the process of withdrawing, and determined to succeed, but the environment at home is causing risk of relapse. Looks like I might be safe there?

A. Let’s talk this over. A good period of sobriety from alcohol and drugs and sometimes this is the right call – possibly for something like day visits / Outreach visits from a member of our Team / working towards a stay. Early on in getting on top of stuff, though, the best way to stay safe is to engage with a Rehab service such as Bridge; it is their speciality – whereas our particular objectives are quite different : to provide a breathing space and to focus on Suicide Prevention work for our community.

Q. It’s only weed, and I’ll be fine without it; in fact, I’d appreciate the opportunity to have a break from it, so that I can change my habits.

A. Taranaki Retreat does not function as a rehab service. It goes without saying that cannabis is a highly addictive substance, and stopping using it isn’t the easiest; we’d strongly recommend talking to your local A&D service and getting some tools and resources in the bag to tackle this the right way.. Taranaki Retreat is not the place to attempt to go cold turkey as the results may trigger or affect other Guests staying at the same time – and will certainly divert you from the core purpose of being here.

Q. I have been drinking quite a LOT lately, if I’m really honest, but I’ll be fine without for my stay.

A. As with cannabis (above) Taranaki Retreat is not the place to test whether you can cope without regular use of a substance. Please engage with your local A&D service; get the right help and support (it’s doable – but of course, much more doable if there’s the right supports around you). Remember that, while you’re finding your way through this – we can be alongside you through our Outreach Programme.

Q. Is there a helpline I can ring about my loved-one’s or my own drug/alcohol use?

A. head here, or call 0800 787 797

Kia kaha… we look forward to hearing from you further.

Prepare-Enrich is the relationship support tool we use at Taranaki Retreat. It is an international brilliant scheme which has been used by literally millions. Here’s how it works :

• Both parties in the relationship complete an online survey about their relationship. It’s a ‘go with the gut’ survey of quite a few questions – touching on all areas of relationship, and the way we tick. The online tool we use for this charges $50 for this service. There is no cost for any of our input, nor any other aspect of the process. If this cost is a barrier to using the programme, we can sometimes help out with this fee – please ask!
• The survey process is confidential to the person completing it. It’s therefore a great, non-confrontational way of both sides reflecting on where the relationship is at, without it turning into a slanging match, or a point-scoring exercise. Nobody ever knows what the other person puts in their survey – and the rule is that there’s no conferring to be done, or reporting back.
• When both of you have completed the survey, separately, the system produces a detailed ‘road map’ – a cool booklet comprised of information, charts and data showing where the relationship is at.
• It’s strengths-based, so it doesn’t give you a mark out of ten – but it shows where the relationship strengths are (e.g., leisure time / sexual relationship) and the challenges are (e.g., communication and dealing with conflict).
• Once the profile is generated, a facilitator is arranged by the Retreat to meet with you as a couple to show you the profile and to talk you through it. Ideally, this is the first in a series of get-togethers, in which the facilitator is aiming to equip you, as a couple, with the tools you need to resource the areas of the relationship where there’s challenges.
• How many support visits people go for will depend on your needs and both parties’ buy-in / commitment to making this all work 🙂
• The profile also addresses issues like – how personality typing (e.g., introvert/extrovert preference) might affect things; past family background; who carries the stress in the relationship.

The next steps?

If you’ve not already done so – please talk to your partner about this possibility. Share the above information. Reflect together on whether you are ‘in’. If you both are, we need to be in touch with your partner, directly. 

Finally – GOOD ON YOU for taking this leap. We are keen to support you – drop us a message back with your thoughts, once you’ve had a read of this.

Arohanui, the Care Team at Taranaki Retreat

“Empathy” – A support group for those touched by suicide

A facilitated support group that meets fortnightly.

An opportunity to process our loss together; to learn from one-another; to gather resources that will help our healing; to be alongside one-another on this journey.

To find out more, or if you would be keen to take part, please call Taranaki Retreat on 06 2150993, or email [email protected]