I’ve been having a fair few conversations recently about this time of year, what it means to different people, what can come up and how it can bring such a mix of emotions. For some it can include joy and excitement, for others ache or loneliness, it can be overwhelm or grief and sometimes all of the above and/or more.
Either way, whether it is a time of counting down the sleeps or a time of worry and trepidation, a thread can be weaving its way through – is this enough?
Is this present enough? Is what I am doing or preparing enough? Is what I am giving enough? Is what I have done this year enough? Ultimately am I enough?
I remember one December I was at a tough place within myself, and was really struggling with the enoughness and self-worth side. Looking back at that time, I can now see I was stuck in a loop of trying to fix that feeling. If I just ‘did more, bought more, gave more’, then that feeling would change. This wasn’t even a conscious thought at the time, it was just my way of trying to take the pain of not feeling enough away.
Deep down there was a belief going on of – if I could just add one more thing… maybe that would help me feel like I’d finally done enough, bought enough, given enough, been enough and maybe then I’d finally feel like I was enough.
It didn’t work, and was expensive!
As I embarked further on my healing journey, very slowly and step-by-step, some of those old people-pleasing patterns started to fall away. Patterns that could very much look like a generous heart, but actually for me at this time had a deeper wound underneath.
A common wound that needs compassion and a reconnecting with our enoughness and worth, a wound that needs more being and will not be helped or healed by more doing.
Whether we are surrounded by people or facing this season on our own, we can hear many variations of the same not-enough theme; so, how about entering the season asking…
What if I consciously focused on my enoughness and my worthiness at this time, what if collectively we weaved that as a thread through our thoughts and our actions, and our offerings.
What if the kindest gift this year, for ourselves and others, is to be keeping up the self-care practices (ideally increasing them!), to be taking the time and space to breathe, to release, to slow down, to be.
What if it was a value-driven season, a time inspired by those areas of life most important to you?
What if it was meeting the need of connection through nature, through a bigger purpose, through furry friends or your hobbies and interests?
What if it was a time of focusing on the smallest of joys, of beauty, of wonder, which absolutely will be there whatever else we have going on?
What if it was a time of regularly checking in with yourself, what you are needing in that moment and honouring that?
What if it was a chapter of tiny micro-adventures that have so many healing benefits, can be fun, and gives us stories to share!
What if…
Wherever this season finds you please know, that despite what the gremlins may be telling you, you will not be the only one feeling what you are feeling. That whatever you are feeling is valid. That you absolutely are enough and that you absolutely do belong.
You always have.
If you would like some practical tools and tips to really bring these what-ifs to life, then you can download them here.