What am I feeling?
I don’t think there is another time on our calendar that can cause such an array, or such conflicting emotions. It really can be a rollercoaster. For some this is a superhard time of year for different reasons, and for others it can be an absolute highlight.
Firstly, there is no right or wrong. There are no right or wrong emotions to be feeling, all emotions and feelings are valid.
Secondly, although you may feel that you are the only one that is struggling, please know we have been talking to many that are having these tough/uncomfortable emotions coming up.
Thirdly, the more we are able to get clear on what is coming up, we can start to find our way through the feelings and emotions and then tap into the pieces of the puzzle they can bring.
One of the tools I share is The Courageous Frog…
This is about the steps we can take, to start looking in from the outside as to what is going on…
F – Feel – This is about the physical sensations we can start to pick up on, when we are heading in to that place of fear. It might be sweating, fidgeting, churny stomach, change in breathing etc. These are all totally normal responses in our body, it is what we make them mean that is what we want to be changing…
R – Recognise – We need fear in our lives to protect us, we need the response that we went to in the first step of this. This stage is about getting familiar with what we are making those sensations mean. We can use statements like ‘I’m noticing…,’ ‘The emotion that is coming up is…’, bringing compassion into the mix… I’m noticing I am feeling lonely, this emotion is disappointment…
O – Open Up – When we head into a space of fear, we can feel it all becoming a bit tight, a bit cramped, shut down… What we want to be doing is creating space here, enabling that breathing to get a bit deeper and to breathe in and through the emotions that were recognised in step two. Sitting a bit taller, shoulders back, opening up our lungs, expansiveness…
G – Ground – This is about becoming mindful again of where our body is at, and where it is at within the world around us. When we are stuck within the emotions not knowing what is going on, it can be hard to see anything else. This way we can start to see the bigger picture, where we are at and what we are needing.
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Some of the conversations the team have been having with guests and in listening ear conversations have been around money worries, concerns over how it is going to be with relatives, grief for a loved one who isn’t around any longer, feeling left out, feeling that sense of loneliness, frustration.
Even if someone is thoroughly looking forward to Christmas, sometimes it can all get a bit much or maybe a wave of grief comes in when we least expect it, it can be handy to have some thoughts or tips in preparation for as and when these feelings may or do come up.
An e-book has been created to help navigate some of these times. I share in it my story of trying to navigate life with two emotions, sad and good; and share within the e-book the tools that helped me find out they were more and how to recognise and navigate them.
It is something that you can dip into or work through. It is available here through this fundraising page, all money going to Taranaki Retreat, (you get to choose how much you pay). Or if times are hard, and we absolutely recognise that they are, you can grab the same e-book, but for free here.
Please remember that you absolutely are enough, just as you are.
With much respect,
Liz
P.S. If this time of year is a highlight for you, please ripple that love and joy out big time. The world needs your light shining bright.