Here are five tips as a starter-guide to building your inner-confidence. We recommend that you have a read, and then chat through with a Support Person.
1. Accepting feelings as feelings.
At the Retreat, we think about the person holistically; and understand how the sensations in our bodies are helpful signals for us. What sensations are in your chest and your belly? Are you tense, jittery, or nauseous? Ask yourself, “What sensation do I feel in my body?”
Then, try this exercise: Identify which feeling that physical sensation is connected to? (For example – butterflies in your tummy are often connected with a situation we’re anxious about). Are you angry? Sad? Glad? Scared? Some mixture of one or more of those? Once you can identify a feeling; what it’s to do with, the next step is to decide whether you accept or reject that feeling. (“When that feeling arises, I will identify it, name it, then focus my mind on a different feeling”). For example, I’ve learned that if I identify a feeling that’s connected with a burden I don’t want to carry any more, it helps me to name the feeling and then push it away. If there’s a feeling in my body connected with the beauty of the morning, for example – that spring-morning-energy – I notice it, hold onto it, and cherish it.
Having inner strength means noticing your feelings – they’re part of you and you’re amazing! Feelings aren’t bad, they just ‘are.’ Think of it this way: We learn the behaviour of bottling up feelings and censoring them. Think of a young child: When they are really sad, they cry. When they’re happy, they run around yelling with joy. They don’t worry what others think — and you shouldn’t judge your emotions, either!
2. Having Boundaries.
Once you learn how you feel, you can create boundaries — saying ‘no’ when you don’t want to do something. For Inner Confidence to grow, boundaries are essential. If you’d like to know more about this, please ask for our Recipe on Healthy Boundaries.
3. Bend With Challenges.
Life brings us challenges — sometimes unexpected, maybe painful. Because you are ‘here’ – we know that your challenges have been ‘next-level’. Can we bend with them, can we go with the flow and let ourselves move with, feel the feelings, and adapt to what’s happening without breaking?
We encourage you to take a moment to reflect on your own personal growth, and to be proud of your strength in adversity. We get stretched, maybe going beyond what we have imagined we can endure. But as we move through a challenge, (especially when we take the wise step of getting a little help along the way), we discover that we have an amazing resilience. We expand our capacities. We grow more inner strength.
4. Be Open to Learning and Asking for Help.
When someone is open to learning they are saying, “I’m not threatened that you know something I don’t, I’m curious. Tell me so I can discover that too and enrich my life. And while we’re at it, I will validate you by listening and absorbing what you know.”
When you’re stuck and don’t know how to make yourself feel better or create something in your life, can you ask for help?
Some folks feel that they need to do everything themselves. As if it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help. It’s not! But if you are good with you, you won’t have a problem reaching out and finding that person or source who can add wonderful things to your life.
5. Answer This Question: Do You exercise Self-Care?
Are you good loving friends with your body? Do you love your body as it is? Do you ask your body what food it wants to eat, what exercise feels good, and what rest does it needs? Or do you ignore what your body is telling you? Do you stay disconnected from the messages it speaks to you?
Look at how far your body has taken you up to now! And still truckin’! When we make friends with our body and appreciate it, our body responds in kind and we feel happier. This helps grow inner strength.
How about your mind? Do your thoughts race around in endless cycles of negativity? Do you hate it or can you calm your thoughts and find peace? Knowing how to relax your head, to accept that sometimes our mind needs tender loving care too, goes a long way to supporting your inner core. If you’d like to know more about this, please ask for our recipe for mindfulness.
And do you have a spiritual connection that feels awesome? Many people gain much strength from their relationship with the Universe or whatever it is that feels right to them. This is an amazing source of inner strength that helps create calm and loving and accepting you as you. If you’d like to know more about this, please ask for our blog on spiritual wellbeing.