Yesterday I pushed myself to bike 10 km before turning around to return to the Retreat. Today I set out and as I commenced the undulating road towards the sea end of Hurford Road, my mind reflected on where I have come from and how similar my journey has been to today’s cycling this particular road. For every part of the road I got to cruise easily, I breathed and enjoyed the scenery. I could see the ocean in the distance and animals and landmarks around me.

As quickly as I got to cruising along straights I was met with the challenge of an incline in the road. Like my life, the cruising was quickly ended and the challenge of pushing myself up that hill kicked in. Breathing became laboured, my heart rate increased rapidly, my body hurt and the scenery wasn’t in my radar any longer. What was in front of me, the huge amount of effort and energy it took to keep me on the bike moving forwards was just like my life.

For every uphill battle however, light was on the other side. I pushed through to the top and “Hurray!” … what goes up, must come down!

I felt free and it was so exhilarating as I sped with ease, the wind whipping past my body and bike as I hurtled down the declining road, around a bend, breathing, enjoying the thrill of joyfully excited adrenaline rather than the all too often pulsating adrenaline brought about by constant shocks. All those damn traumatic experiences.

Hmm my life has been too much of a roller coaster ride over the past couple of years. I have lacked in those cruisy, flat places along the road, and struggled with way too many uphill rides. Today, I pushed through though. I stayed on that bike, despite feeling a sore bum. I saw clarity and worked out the math. I didn’t have too much further to get to the main road. I wanted to stay in the saddle and cycle for the entire duration of the Hurford Road…the uphills, the downhills and the flats. I want and need my life after the Retreat to get to that place again.

That balance I have always strived for in my every day….I want it! I need it and I see now that I deserve it!

​14 km yesterday putting a neglected spirit and body on a bike that hasn’t been cared for in a while to 16 km today. Goals, vision, direction, clarity and determination to rise up healthier and stronger and happier. Ahhhh! I’m liking this feeling….

Author

Katrina Rukuwai, New Plymouth

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