Jess Hockey | Taranaki Retreat

Waimanako i te taha moana – Waimanako by the Sea

Jess Hockey — Thu, 20 Nov 2025 21:33:05 +0000

As I look out to the sea, my eyes are blinded by blue. The bottom of my line of sight is framed with green trees, and I can almost taste the saltiness of the seaspray. I turn my head slightly to the left, and just out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. My ears prick as I hear a chorus of greetings, of ‘how’s your day going?’ said through a smile.

The community surrounding Waimanako is vast and steadfast. It’s not just made up of the people who we see there every week. The roots run much deeper than that.

I’ve spent the majority of my adult life on the outskirts of ‘community’. I lived in Te Whanganui-a-tara for many years, cultivating a beautiful circle of friends throughout my university life and career, and for the most part, I stuck with them. I clung to what was comfortable. It was only when I moved back to Taranaki that I realised how much I craved community.

For me, growing up in Ngāmotu looked like smiling faces and warm greetings on our beautiful walkways. It was picnics at Tūpare with friends, and youth orchestra concerts once every school term. It was drama competitions and lunch-time band practices.

As I entered adulthood, I took all these relationships for granted. I moved away and didn’t pursue music anymore. I didn’t join any groups or teams, and justified my self-exclusion as ‘being busy’. Only when I approached my mid-twenties did I see the sort of effect this had on me. I had missed my home.

In the past four months that I’ve been involved with Taranaki Retreat and Waimanako, I’ve seen more aroha, more compassion and deep care than I had in a long time.

I wasn’t here for the opening of Waimanako. I wasn’t around to see the community that built Waimanako and nourished it into the vibrant, supportive hub we have today. But I have been around for our move to the Tasman Club; the farewell of the Metro Plaza, the transitional two-week period, and the opening of Waimanako tuarua.

A large part of my role at Taranaki Retreat is to capture what I’m witnessing. To take photographs and videos, and at some point, write down what I thought about it all. For the most part, that puts me on the sideline; I watch, I listen, and I take in all the beauty. I ‘capture’.

What I have captured has moved me.

I’ve seen the faces of those in deep conversation, sharing their life story with a listening ear.
I’ve seen kai gratefully accepted and enjoyed.
I’ve seen how a short greeting, a simple smile, can change someone’s entire day.

As we prepared to farewell Waimanako at the Metro Plaza, I got to witness the raw emotions of my team. This team has so much pride in what Waimanako is all about and what has been achieved here. As boxes were packed, furniture was moved, and we began to let our community know about our move, there was an odd combination of grief and excitement. Some of our team shed tears as they started their farewells to the Metro Plaza. Others quietly celebrated the move; a move away from the Metro Plaza floods, freezing temperatures and lack of windows to the outside world. Despite how each member of our team felt, all of us acknowledged the magnitude of this move and of the impending demolition of the Metro Plaza.

We had two farewell ceremonies, and I captured everything. Our first poroaki was for our street whānau, our second for our wider community. It was a celebration of all that Waimanako has achieved over the past four years, and a mourning of a place that so many have called home. Throughout our farewells, there were moments where I allowed myself to be truly present, to be unfocused on the camera angles or whether my hand was starting to shake mid-video. It was in these moments that I witnessed immense gratitude, heartfelt tears, and an overwhelming sense of community.

We take a lot of comfort in our ‘home’. It’s not always the place that we live, or where we sleep at night. For so many people, Waimanako has become their home. It’s been a space of safety, of support, of inclusion and empowerment. A place where everyone is welcome and everyone is cherished.

Although there’s been a lot of change – our location has changed, our menu is different, even our hours have been tweaked – our kaupapa has remained the same, and we will continue to be here.

We hope that Waimanako i te taha moana – Waimanako by the sea – will continue to be ‘home’.

Self-Care Thursday – Tips to Help Fill Your Cup

Jess Hockey — Thu, 10 Jul 2025 22:23:21 +0000

Kia ora, ko Jess ahau. I’m new to the Retreat Staff Team, and I’m super excited to be sharing some blogs with you! Before working at Taranaki Retreat, I had a busy career in the film industry in Te Whanganui-a-Tara. I worked a ridiculous amount, had very little time for myself and my friends, and slowly retreated into my most introverted and unbothered self. My life had become very self-centred and monotonous, and it took me a long time to prioritise my well-being. I was surprised that a few small intentional acts of self-care made such a difference to my entire week.

Why does my Monday-Friday plod past, while my weekend flies by before I can even catch my breath? I have a steady routine every workday: wake up, go to work, get some fresh air (if the weather permits), cook dinner, shower, watch an episode of a show (or two episodes if I’m feeling cheeky), and then it’s bedtime.

Most of us still do mahi on the weekends, whether that’s taking the kids to sports games, hosting friends for dinner, or simply tackling the enormous heap of laundry that’s been begging for a sunny day.

How can I squeeze a little bit of ‘me’ time into my week? Time that’s solely dedicated to me and my needs.

You may think: Jess, isn’t that selfish?

Absolutely not! How can I truly be myself if I don’t spend any time prioritising myself? If my cup is empty, how can I help others?

I saw on Instagram that you should spend one day (or at least one evening) a week doing something that makes you happy.

I started my self-care Thursdays while I was studying. I would get home from class, make myself a cup of tea, and spend 30 minutes on TikTok. I’d lace up my sneakers, brave the weather, and pound the pavements for another 30 minutes. Then I’d run myself a bath and start watching a movie. Dinner would be leftovers, something quick to heat up but still delicious. I would ALWAYS have a little sweet treat and spend the rest of my evening reading, journaling, or chatting with a friend on the phone.

This was my one evening a week when I allowed myself to relax. I wasn’t thinking about all the jobs I had to do, the test I had to study for, or the friend I hadn’t been in touch with for a while. It allowed me time to reflect, rejuvenate, and reset.

I appreciate that an evening of self-care may seem a bit out of reach for lots of people. You may have kids with busy schedules, or an older relative that you’re caring for; you may work evenings, or be a solo parent. Maybe your self-care looks a little different. Self-care involves dedicating time to yourself, your needs, and your overall well-being. It may be an hour of reading before bed, walking on the waterfront watching the sunset, or just sitting and pondering life.

Here are a few self-care ideas to try:

Get some fresh air – You’ve all heard it before, “go for a walk, you’ll feel better”. For a long time, I thought this was propaganda! Freezing my nose off while the wind batters me from side to side sounds more like torture than self-care. But I became consistent with my walks, and only missed them if it was REALLY raining. To this day, I’ve never felt worse after a walk (albeit a bit colder). If you’re struggling to get motivated, queue a few songs on Spotify and tell yourself, “I’ll walk until I get to the end of this song”.

Eat well – some of us LOVE to cook and we find it therapeutic, for others it’s our least favourite and most relentless chore. Eating well could look like heating yummy leftovers, cooking something elaborate, politely asking a partner or friend to cook for you, or ordering takeout. Make sure you have a balanced meal and DON’T FORGET to satisfy your sweet tooth.

Watch/Read/Reflect – Watch a show, read a book, write about your day. Challenge your mind, or disappear into another world. Play a board game, a video game, or a game on your phone. In moderation, it’s never a waste of time! Not everything we do needs to be ‘productive’. If it brings you peace and joy, it can be self-care.

Connect – I find that connecting with friends and whanau helps me to reset. Unless you’re completely introverted, you could talk to your long-distance best friend on the phone, flick a few photos to your Nana, or invite a friend over for dessert and a movie. You’re not the only one benefiting from this connection!

Sleep well – Easier said than done!! I used to lie in bed for hours every night, slowly losing precious hours of sleep to my intrusive thoughts. I would be exhausted throughout the day and anxious through the night. It took me some time but I learnt some tips that worked for me: sticking with my circadian rhythm (lights off at night, sitting in natural light in the morning), a hot shower or bath an hour before bed, a cup of non-caffeinated tea, and a comprehensive list of what I had to achieve the next day (knowing that I hadn’t forgotten anything allowed my mind to relax). I would then distract myself with some rain sounds, white noise, or an audiobook.

There are so many little things that you can do for self-care, and it’s awesome if you can practice self-care every day! Every day I try to do one thing to “make the day” – something that I know fills my cup just a little. I know that I need to look after myself first and foremost. I will fill my cup, and with the overflow I can help to fill others’ cups.

Ngā mihi nui,
Jess